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A true martyr is one who has made a sacrifice standing up for who and what they believe in. They are quiet heroes that aren’t looking for acknowledgment, validation, or attention. They just want to be of service to others in need.

And they are usually deceased.

The usage of the term however has changed a little over the years. “Martyr” is also used to describe a person who believes they have no choice but to suffer. They think the world is against them and they see themselves as constantly sacrificing for the needs of others.

These are attention-seeking martyrs…

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As I write this, we are in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. And it’s amazing to see what’s unfolding in the world because of it. From my perspective, this pandemic is giving us an unprecedented opportunity to learn about psychology on a large scale. There are so many behaviors unfolding before our eyes.

Of course, whenever us humans are pushed to our limits, our deepest beliefs, values, and fears rise up and reveal themselves to the world. And there are many people revealing themselves right now.

That’s not to say that person A is bad and person B is…

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Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It hides in the form of feigned helpfulness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing their victim to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers. …

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Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves.

This builds resentment in them and will eventually corrode even the most intimate relationships.

Even if your relationship survives the corrosive effect of judgment, it still suffers.

This article explains how your emotional triggers form your judgments and how judging those closest to you can make you and everyone else around you miserable.

Judgment truly is the ultimate relationship destroyer.

Releasing Judgments is a Difficult Path

For most of my life, I’ve judged people by my sky-high standards. Not everyone though — I…

Paul Colaianni

Host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts. Visit and for more information.

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